Friendship Between Males and Females?

It's an age old question that brings about a number of different responses. Sure there are males with a bunch of female friends and vice versa. Personally, I don't think it can happen if both friends find the other attractive. There's a bunch of sayings involving this matter.

"She's just my homegirl/ homeboy"
People prefer to date people who are their friends first, so what makes you think that these males and females won't test the boundaries, if they haven't already? Unless you're already in a relationship, and even that sometimes still calls for you to question the boundaries of friendship, homeboy and homegirl can become synonymous for someone that person is messing with.

"If I can't be your man, I can be your friend."
Why do boys try to pick up girls with this line after being rejected? That concept is just not going to work. There's always going to be a suspected motive when you start off being interested in someone and suddenly find it okay to be their friend without even knowing them.

"I prefer to hang out with boys. Girls are too dramatic..."
A lot of girls have used this statement and it holds true a lot of the times. However, guys don't always see things the way you do. While you could be in something for the friendship element, they could be in it for another reason. If ou have one of these friendships, it's important to let it be known that certain lines won't be crossed unless you're okay with taking it there.

While it's great to go from friends to relationship, if the relationship ends it's not always easy to go back to the way things were. It's important to calculate that risk if you decide to take things to another level. I'm not saying you should question every male/female friendship. There are a lot that do exist. I just feel that in a lot of cases, the true friendship becomes established when one of the two has established that they're not or no longer interested in the other.

Few Things to Remember When Meeting the Fam

Meeting the Family. Yeah, that's up there on the list of things a lot of people are deathly afraid of. In terms of relations with males, I don't let a lot people meet my family because your family are not like your friends. They introduce a more serious level in your relationships. They form ideas about your relations and if you establish enough of a connection, they become attached. It's come to my attention that a lot of people don't understand the importance of parents, grandparents or siblings' perspectives. The foundation of an individual is their family and it affects relationships or even friendships if you don't get family approval. The fear of scrutiny is what limits people sometimes from getting on the good side of a family or avoiding them altogether which isn't any better. These are a few things to keep in mind if you are meeting the fam for the first time.

1. Do some research: You need to get background information on the family. Knowing their nationality, beliefs, dislikes, likes, and even how they've interacted with other people gives you the boost on how to approach them or what to expect in terms of their attitude and perspective ahead of time.

2. Make a good first impression: Make sure your appearance is in tact. Next, don't just say "hi" and keep it moving. Parents forget names really quickly so you need to make your presence memorable. Try to get a conversation going so that you have the opportunity to share more about yourself and make family members comfortable. If you heard that something recently happened with them, bring it up.

3. Establish and maintain connections: Find something that you have in common with a family member and you're in a good position. It's important to maintain the good vibes afterwards by always greeting them when you see them, attending family functions or even doing something as small but meaningful as sending a holiday card. These things say a lot about your character.

In the case that you meet the family in a bad situation, here are alternate solutions of repairing the damage.

- Okay so you've met the family while doing the nasty.
Nothing can be done to change that impression. It's better to apologize and take responsibility for your actions. You may feel like never returning again, but it's best to leave more good impressions than bad.

-So you and your mate have had your share of arguments or hurtful statements and the family knows all about it.
You don't have a very good reputation so it's important to show the relatives that you and the person who introduced you can maintain healthy relations. Have great manners and if the family confronts you about certain issues, express your remorse and your plans to limit tension and unnecessary behavior in the future.

From Me to You: Go Crazy Cover

So I been waiting to test around with this video chat thing forever! Bring something new to the blog world. If it aint new, whoops...and if it is I'm sure others will swaggerjack haha Still waiting on my Christmas computer. Yup times are rough, and my comp failed on me. Luckily, my roommate has an even better computer and while she's away I took the time to experiment on it. No, Im not a rapper. Just like to write stuff to instrumentals in my spare time :0) Feel free to comment if u want. There's plenty more, and now that I know how to work this, I'll post some on the blog. Forgive my shyness lol.

Forward March

Market Publique

Combat boots are all the craze for the cold months. If your look has even the slightest tinge of rebellion in it, I suggest you invest in a pair. There's different styles and lengths, and you can wear it anyway you please. Market Publique, Jeffrey Campbell, and Frye are amongst a few names that carry stylish versions of the footwear. Every bad chick should have some.

Jeffrey Campbell

Frye

From Mars. From Venus.

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. It seems completely true down to their methods of thinking and communicating. There's rules that are formed based on just meeting. A lot of it is bogus to me, but there's always two sides to everything. I've decided to address some of these issues.

Dont text the other until 24 hours after meeting.
Eh. I could understand the want to not seem extremely overzealous upon getting someone's number so Im half and half on the text topic. It just seems like too many rules come along with it. The time you're supposed to wait in between answering. It all just becomes a game. I, personally, get a lot of tongue-lashings for answering too late or not quick enough but at least I'm not doing it purposely. There's people who methodically plan out their response times. If I happen to text you back a little late and you want to respond quick then respond. It doesn't mean you have to wait thirty minutes. What kind of real conversation does that turn out to be if you're genuinely interested?

Long hair is better than short hair.
Boys are obsessed with this belief. In a girl's head it all depends upon whether the person is framed with the right face or not. Her mood could also be a dependancy. I've definitely cut my hair to reinvent myself or to match a new attitude I was having. For most boys, it's an automatic "Dont even think about it." Girls cut their hair and their friends are like "You look hot!" and boys are like "...-_-." I think short hair can do a lot for the girl who can rock it the right way. It can highlight her features and take away the normalcy out of her look. I understand everyone's not a Rihanna but you see what it did for her.

Straight hair is better than curly hair.
Another hair difference. I can do a whole post about the difference in male and female minds about hair. I call it the Straight Complex. Guys seem to suffer from grasping their minds around anything but straight hair. I swear a guy in my life only knew the word perm. Our conversation would go like this:
Me: What kind of style you want me to get? Him: Perm
Me: I just got one.
Him: I thought you got one like every week.
Guys just know straight. They just want straight, while girls just have the tendency to get bored with their hair and have the desire to try new styles. Who wants to be a plain Jane? It's good to get creative. You just have to know what looks good on you and sometimes that's where the error occurs.

Dont show too much interest.
If you want to get to know someone, it should be made clear. Point blank. There's no need for the foolery and acting as if you don't really want to speak to them, being mean to them, flirting with other people in front of them, etc. Trust me, I've seen it done. In some ways, I determine it as disrespectful and in all ways I determine it as foolish. Girls are very observant. If you just got her number in the club, and you think she's not watching your moves from then on if she's interested, you're wrong. She might watch anyway just for the fun of it.

Rating System
Boys can be harsh when it comes to picking girls they think are cute. From conversations with male friends, a lot of the times there'll be differences on who a boy would say was cute and who a girl would say was prettier. You would think it was more on an obvious level when it comes to rating appearances but the male and female perspective differ a lot. It's actually quite interesting.

There's so many more, down to fashion perspectives. Only chose to list a few tho. Too many for one entry. Maybe I'll keep it as a recurring theme as more pop into my head or my surroundings. Stay tuned.

Fever Epidemic

Jungle fever is rampant these days. It goes without saying that you can go to any social setting and you're guaranteed to see black and whites flirting all over the place. It's hard to believe but interracial marriage was not legalized in all of the US up until 1967. Fairly recent. From my own experience, Ive noticed however that it's mostly the black men who are leading these type of relationships. White guys seem stand-offish when it comes to pursuing black women. When African-Americans and Whites marry, there is 2.65 times more likely for it to be a black husband and a white wife. Statistics show that this setup is found in 73% of all black and white marriages.

My theory consists of a few hypothetical reasons.

• Insecurities: I feel like a lot of white guys might be scared of how their sexual performance might be rated based on all the praise that is placed on a black guy's package. They may not feel as if they can measure up, and it may reduce their level of confidence. They don't feel like a lot of black women are attracted to white men. If you've seen a lot of white men together with a black girl, her behavior is usually considered "white" and her voice may be different or she hangs around a lot of white girls.
• Intimidation: White guys might simply be intimidated by the sterotypes placed on black females such as their attitude problems, tendency to cause a scene, dominance, etc. Boys from other races have approached me and in the middle of the convo ask if I was mad, when I was in a perfectly happy setting.
• Bad Connectors: I've found that a lot of white guys do not know how to make a simple connection with me. I feel as if they think making a connection with a white girl is different from making a connection with a black girl. They bring up "black" things or events right off the bat because they feel as if that's a good starting point. Blackboy swag and whiteboy swag are two different things. Don't feel compelled to say certain slang terms just because you're holding a conversation with a black female.

Now Im not saying all white boys are like this. There are surely quite the bunch who know how to swoon ladies of all different races. I think background and where you come from has a lot to do with their method of interaction as well. Black men seem to like a lot of women outside of their race, Asian and White males mainly focus on their own race and Hispanics are a toss-up. Overall, being yourself is the most important thing when meeting someone else. So if you're feeling that black chick over in the corner, in the words of jay-z, "use ya cahonas" (no pun intended). :0)

Front Seat Feet

Some people will judge you just by looking at your feet. I'm not saying I'm one of them, but proper shoegame is a must. This season a good look for the guys are drivers. You might also pair them under the heading of loafers or mocassins. They're perfect for going out on the weekends, wearing in a corporate setting or just gettin plain attention. Urban sophisticate. Gucci has some nice designs if you're willing to dish out the cash.

I'm a sneaker feen, don't get me wrong, but guys need to try pushing their sneakers to the back of the closet if they haven't already. Drivers provide good bang for your buck considering you can work and play in them. Hey, Christmas is right around the corner. If you weren't too naughty you could ask somebody nice to slap your nametag on a pair.

If the shoe proper. You proper.

Flip the Script

Boyfriends all over the world...take heed. Girls now have a new closet to raid and guess what? Its yours. Don't be stingy. You can't deny how sexy it is to see your girl rocking your clothing, and the fashion world has capitalized on this knowledge. Magazines and stores all over can be seen promoting new boyfriend apparel. Brands like Purple Label give in to the trend by offering consumers quality at affordable prices. Personally, I like this new look. Sexy isn't all about being packaged into some tight fitting, cleavage showing number. And the best part of the whole ordeal is, you don't even have to have a boyfriend to purchase.

Flirtanomics

Social networking sites seem to be one of the top locations for guys to confidently approach women. Married men, straight men, gay men, old men, young men, international men, MEN period. It's like the male hormones rejoiced at the opportunity to eliminate any chance of face to face rejection. Or maybe guys don't see enough pretty faces in their day to day routines.

• "Hey beauty queen, i was wondering if you might like to take this thing off on FB. Get to know me, im a good dude and i know how to treat a lady. I dont do this often but i really like what i see...at least holla back."
  
• "sup whats good with you are you trying to talk to somebody new?..."
  
• "I'm sorry if i bother you sweet love,i just couldn't resist saying hi to you,i swear you are so beautiful even if you can't stand me saying hi would be the sweetest thing you can do.hope to hear from you soon."
  
• "that chokol8 ladii glow, I love that."
  

Sorry if you wrote this to me. Sorry if I didn't write back and that offended you. Socal networking sites are just the equivalent to EPIC FAILURE when it comes to trying to date someone. Is it wrong to prefer physical communication and in-person efforts over a private message and an anonymous figure? Nope. Save the sweet e-talk for the love connecting sites. What you see is not always what you get. Girls prefer a real visual. Who wants to end up with the 80 yr old perverted creep? Guy Tip: If you're a reputable male or can hold decent conversation, your best bet to meet your facebook interests are through mutual friends.

Foot Fetish

I got an email that had all these quirky shoes in it, so I decided to share a few. Fashion 2010? I think not but give it time. Someone will "dare to be different".

Eff Love?

The most memorable quote heard from Rihanna on live television. No I’m not bitter. My first post is sparked by some things everything around me. Personal life, casual conversation, bar observations, and even that trip I take every six weeks from Baltimore to NY to get my hair permed. “You don’t know what love is,” my hairdresser Kathy says to a male client. “Me,” he says offensively, “Of course I know. Love is ride or die. People don’t take the word seriously enough.” “You’re right,” she says. The 4 letter word with so many varying definitions. I swear it flies out mouths like spit. On the average, at least 1 girl at one of the popularly attended bars near my school will cry twice a week from the combination of liquor and seeing their boos, bfs or man with another girl. Will and Jada have an open marriage, Janet and JD split (I didn’t even see that coming), Hillary and Bill, Ciara and Bow Wow?…Is the media where our generation learns to base their feelings on? I’ve seen people abandon their closest friends in the name of love. Yes real life Spencers and Heidis exist. Love is like a building. It requires maintenance or the relationship crumbles. The bar situations are ridiculous to me. It isn’t smooth sailing, don’t get me wrong, but love is self first. When you find that, everything else will fall into place.