Freewrite

Everything I do today, I do not apologize for tomorrow. It's all for a reason. I don't justify any of my actions to anyone but myself. In this time and age, the rules are really simple: Screw or Be Screwed. And that's not meant to deter anyone's fluffy visions of the world, it's a simple motivator and reality check. Out there is always someone who want to dick you over and if you're not doing it, you're the one getting dicked.

You know someone out there who's not telling the truth, cheating on their significant other, working hard to take someone else's job, moving up the ladder, firing people who don't deserve to go, keeping secrets, holding back, setting someone up for failure, trying to steal your shine, acting like you're not really a big deal... If you don't know this person, they probably haven't told you.

A lot of the times the person doing the damage is our very selves. Depriving ourselves of succeeding further and getting what we want because of fear, insecurities, lack of strength, not enough wisdom, stupidity, friends, competition and other nouns that fall under the "Halting Progress" list. We screw ourselves over without even noticing until it's too late.

Good news is the late bell rings at the end of your day and then a new session begins as the sun rises the next. A new day to reinvent, push yourself harder, fight for what you want and believe in, make things right. Live life according to the rule book that you've written. Every day it changes; new pencil, a few cross-outs, and some erasing. This post is not meant to encourage people to hurt others or to be conniving and ruthless to those we encounter. After all, people depend on each other to survive and to get to high places! Friends, family, and loved ones are our backbone. You never want to sever that. It's a message to take what you can out of life or it will take it out of you. Get rid of your excuses and your sorry's and live life feeling unapologetic.

Free vs Free-quent

As women we have the innate desire to want to go out, unless you're a homebody... and eh, those are no fun (just kidding!...sorta). Who doesn't want to enjoy doing a variety of things outside instead of being cooped up in the house all the time? Cindi Lauper said it best: Girls just wanna have fun. Men tend to see going out as a negative because:
a. they're cheap
b. create pricey expectations in their heads or
c. are homebodies themselves

The key to happiness is compromising. Unless you're dealing with a female who was cut out from the makings of a Kanye West video, chances are they'll be willing to compromise with you. They can work around your busy schedule. They'll pay for outings sometimes or even offer to split the bill. It's 2010. Women are more along the lines of Destiny's Child's "Independent" than "Bills, Bills, Bills" and more than happy to show it.

Men have the idea that everything has to be over the top expensive in order to impress a female. Women enjoy doing things that are free, and they even enjoy staying home as well. The key is not doing that ALL the time, hence being "free-quent." A little variety goes a long way. Routine makes me want to hit the snooze button. Most women these days don't let anyone get in the way of things they want to do, so don't think your "Maybe next time..." puts an automatic halt to her plans. What one person won't do, another person will.

Don't be consumed by lust for intimacy and laziness. The She's in anyone's life who are well taken care of, reciprocate.

Faithful Fans of Hip-Hop?

You ever noticed when someone gets too hot in hip-hop, people like to put them down? Our youthful hip hop culture has grown to be a bunch of haters. It's as if whenever someone gains a lot of support, people rush to disown them or claim that they are being "too hyped up." It's like a relationship. It's as if people can't love an artist too much before they feel like pulling away. I've come to realize that this generation of hip-hop lovers can never just enjoy the music for what it is or be happy for an artist's success.

When Weezy started producing an uproar of good music, everyone began blasting his music. After a while, when people realize he's consistently coming out with bangers and growing an even larger fan base, you can hear some expressing their dislike. "Oh he's not that good anyway..." "I liked him before the hype..." "He's too commercial now.." "Who does he think he is?..."

Drake comes out with So Far Gone and the frenzy begins. The features grow. He's on this song and that song and before we know it, he's "the go-to guy for the hooks." So now that his first album drops, of course the spectators are back at their usual antics throwing shade on his name. "I'm tired of Drake..." "He's on too much songs now..." "He's not even that good, he has to EARN respect..." Meanwhile they're either still singing his songs, in the club dancing to his songs, or refusing to socially accept his contributions to music.

Now Ross drops "Blowin Money Fast" and has everyone thinking they're Big Meech or Larry Hoover. Not that he didn't have crazy lyrics before, but now you see more people recognizing The Boss himself with such a strong summer anthem. "Wheels look like a ferris, ya jeweler should be embarrassed..." Sometimes it's all in how a person says something. It doesn't have to be over-the-top thoughtful. Suddenly, you start noticing he's being featured on a lot of tracks lately and the excitement that are growing within people. I feel like once the consistency continues, the haters will show their faces as well, and the faithfulness is put to a test.

We even get consumed with artists' personal lives, even though their business has nothing to do with us. We make it our business to judge them. We forget they're human and have their own issues. It starts affecting the way we view their music and their talent and feel as if they owe it to us to redeem themselves. I've seen it happen with artists like Kanye, Alicia Keys, and Chris Brown, and I'm sure there are others.

Why this happens? I'm not exactly sure. I'm just here to expose it. People always want to be different for some reason. It's all about self image instead of music. They don't want to seem as if they're "jumping on the bandwagon" and some want to appear as if they were on that artist before anyone else was. If an artist is good, I don't see what's the big deal with just celebrating good music, whether it's lyrical or just plain catchy. We need to learn how to support each other more before hip-hop culture gets consumed by the hating and bitterness.

F That, It's Okay... [Once Upon A Summer]

Everyone's got a few guilty pleasures or things we've done in the past that are silly. This post is to let you know you're not alone. Today's topic is called "Once Upon A Summer" which lists ten things you're guilty of or may have done during the summer time.

F That, It's Okay...

1. To know your neighborhood ice cream truck driver by first name.
2. To speak into the fan and laugh at the funny sound it makes with your voice.
3. If you add an extra five minutes in your lunch break today because the weather's beautiful and you know by the time you come out of work, the sun will be setting.
4. To lick the dripping icey off your hand instead of using a napkin.
5. To be addicted to barbeque food. Fresh off the grill? Yum.
6. To add an extra coat of polish over that chipped toenail because you don't feel like getting them re-done yet, and you'll be damned if you have to subject your feet to closed-toe shoes.
7. To walk around your house bare-foot.
8. To skinny-dip.
9. To break out the water balloons, supersoakers or open the hydrant.
10. To know all the words to that raunchy summer song.

Fixated on Ivory or Ebony

In light of the new Slim Thug Vibe Magazine article, I've decided to tackle the issues facing dating black and white women. You see, some parts of Slim Thug's argument I found some truth in and other parts I thought were just downright ignorant. I won't say he should've phrased it better because to me, that would've been sugar coating how he felt. I disagreed with some of WHAT he said not HOW he said it and it's not because I'm Black. You should probably take a look at the article before you go any further... http://www.vibe.com/posts/slim-thug-black-women-need-stand-their-man-more

That being read...

A lot of Black women have a larger voice. Not only in volume but being that they will say what a lot of women want to say but choose to keep in, and then it comes off as nagging or argumentative. I've heard a White woman keep something in because "she doesn't want to come off a certain way." There's been instances where a Black man has commanded a White woman to go get him some pizza and she has jumped out the car and spoon fed it to him as he's driving.

Would I have done that? No. I'll buy you the slice but I don't know about spoon-feeding you like you're a baby. Especially at command. But who's to say that has to do with my race? That's my personality. I think people need to learn how to ask for things they want in better ways, and they'll get the results they want.

I have seen white girls at my school cry week after week in the bars because their boyfriends are kissing on girls in front of their faces, treating them mean and they hop right in the cab with them at the end of night despite everything. Or give it a little time in between to numb down the anger and few weeks later, they're back at it, full swing. Now this is not to say I haven't seen Black girls go back to men who have done them wrong. Women, in general, will choose how much they will put up with and will go through similar experiences. I've just noticed that our Ivorys are more submissive and our Ebonys will complain more about it. Even if they're thinking the exact same thing.

At the same time, I believe a lot of the Black men who are making these statements are the ones who want to do whatever they want to do and speak however they want to speak. As Slim Thug says "do all the shit he says." I've seen people who have made these statements, go behind their partners back and cheat and FB message girls and lie. They want to do whatever they want, without getting slack for it. And Slim Thug probably has been on that side of the fence if he isn't right now. Aside from the money hungry females that are out for the money a man has to provide, or looking for a sponsor, females in general just want something that says I appreciate you on a day that's not a holiday. Chivalry, just like men want some of the older customs within females to remain.

A lot of the Ivory and Ebony comparisons don't look at the type of family life that each has grown up in, and I think family life has a lot to do with how you respond in relationships. You could grow up seeing your mom being the bossier figure in a relationship and have that same appeal to men you're dating and if they end up being bossier than you, depending on your personality you could remain or be attracted to the fact that no one has ever been bossier than you. It's environment and family that have major effect on relationships and different races do have different environments and family lifestyles.

That being said, Black people in general need to work on relationships inside their race and outside their race. People, in general, need to work on relationships. Ebony, Ivory, Black Man, White Man, Pink Man, Red Man. We need to cater to each other, communicate better, and listen to each other. Break the stereotypes, don't continue to feed into them.

Forget-Me-Not

Everybody wants to shine...stand out from the pack in their own way. The world remains one big competition and the huddles of support end up getting smaller. I was speaking to someone about what my favorite compliments are. Yeah, looks are nice but after a while we get desensitized to those. A boy trying to swoon you, whispers a few nice words in your ear and after the rejection, you can spot him doing the same thing, twenty seconds later, in the ear of some chick with a face that looks like she should've never been born. Harsh? Ehh you get the point, we've all seen it happen. Our conversation led to the discovery that besides a few others, my favorite compliments aren't of me but rather my work, my creativity.

In thinking about that, I've gathered that we are in the age of the "Forget-Me-Not's." So many of us have talent that we are dying to broadcast, just waiting for a chance to be remembered for something great... looking for RECOGNITION. Yet, it seems the hardest to get. Especially from those around you. In times where we are bombarded with social networks, you would think it would be easy to build recognition or gain feedback with 1000 friends, pending friend requests and up to the minute status updates. But who's really listening?

When you make it, people claim they always knew you'd hit the top. Yet when you're building up to get there, no one gives you any props. Women, in particular, suffer when it comes to building each other up. Black people fall into this category as well. Instead of helping to spread interest for each other, they rather do their own thing or wait 'til they see a large crowd of people promoting something to decide that it's worth attaching their name to it. Even in relationships, friends, or families you can see the struggle to support movements and lack of inspiration or motivation. We rather network with strangers, than with each other. It's a wild realization, but I have it all the time. We all fall victim, I believe, because it's so hard to rise individually that we have harder times seeing those around us get to higher places. Truth is, sometimes you can only help yourself further by helping others.

Flirtin' With A Virgin

Yes, there are still some left. Heads high, waving V-Cards proudly in the air. For moral reasons or personal reasons, they know how to say "No." But are they happy? It's a question all virgins have to ask themselves in an age like this where sex sells and relationships are holding that as a high determinant of whether they will succeed or not.

At first, they might want to scream "Yes!" on the defense. But it's a serious question that involves a lot of self-reflection. When we are younger, it's so much easier to maintain relationships but as we meddle in our twenties, men are asking for more than just conversation. They are looking for a promised intimacy, because what one woman isn't willing to give another will. But even when given everything they need, men still are known to wander off.

Do virgins have a hard time trusting males more than other females? Should they have to settle with open relationships or linger in the dating phase?

Virgins should seek older guys because they are more likely out of the mindframe where they need multiple women and will hold sex over getting to know someone. Don't get me wrong, there isn't a better type of man depending on his age but older men tend to have higher levels of maturity. Virgins can also date other virgins, so that the pressure is not there and they are allowed to make the decision together.

All a person really needs to be is understanding, both on the virgin's side and the side of their partner. If you believe a person is worth it, you're willing to make certain sacrifices, depending on where you are in your life. Virgins show great character, discipline and values. This is by no means a post telling virgins that converting is the only way to obtain a successful relationship, it's simply interesting chit chat.

Four-One-One on Dating Older Men

It's a known fact that women mature faster than men, whether males are ready to admit it or not. So it's no surprise that many women are into men above their age bracket. Some of us shun away the you're-old-enough-to-be-my-father candidates calling them "creeps" yet embrace the thoughts of holding hands with a Morris Chestnut or LL Cool J. Yea, I'm not afraid to say I'm in that category. Have you seen Morris? Idris Elba?...enough said.

Dating older men bring a certain status if you're younger. Think of going to school and wanting to date the older boy. As women, we get captivated by their experience, their dominance and their knowledge. But on the flip side, it can also be looked down on if the person is too old. Girls are known to even make age brackets or boundaries that they're not willing to pass due to age. One of the first questions you want to know when you meet someone is "How old are you..." Is too much emphasis placed on age? The media seems to favor men who like older women but makes it seem sometimes as if women are more of the gold-digger type or have ulterior motives if they are reaching out for the older guy. Think Hugh Heff's bunnies.

If you're into the older guy, here's the 4-1-1.

1. Better Communicators
Simply put, they have the tendency to express thoughts, concerns, and feelings better. They handle situations more maturely, and are great for conversing. It can seem intimidating for some women when it comes to conversation with an older man but can brighten perspective.

2. "Trust Me..."
Older men are known to hold age as a reason to trust what they're saying over your word. Some think their level of experience overshadows your thoughts, even if they're a year older.

3. Age Aint Nuthin But A Number
Just because men are older, doesn't mean they don't have child-like tendencies. You can definitely run into older men that act worse than males your age.

4. Upgrade You
Older men can help you learn things at a much faster rate, put you onto new places, ideas, or share things with you that you wouldn't have otherwise known. They can definitely help you in areas you might require help whether it be at work, personal advice or introduce to some of the finer things in life.

5. Stages of Life
Make sure that what you want out of life at the current moment aligns with the person you're with. For example, an older man might be seeking to start a family or depending on his age, be finished with having children. The stage of a person's life determines what they'll seek out of a relationship.

Successful relationships bank on effort, communication and passion. It's not as important to focus on your year to year difference as it is to focus on how you see eye to eye. Men are still men, no matter the birth date.

Fronter's Syndrome

Fronting occurs when one is appearing one way but acting in another. They are showing a misrepresentation of themselves. It's so rampid that I called it Fronter's Syndrome. I'm sure you know many who suffer from the disease. Here are five symptoms:

1. Loss of Memory
People who are fronters, seem to have loss of memory because they don't want to be reveal whatever it is that they're fronting about so they magically catch dementia to cover it up. Even when you give them instances that counteract their fronting, they'll have absolutely no recollection. Males, especially pretty boys or those who are overly confident, will meet a girl they're interested in for the first time, after weeks of checking her out and act as if they've never seen her.

2. Retaliation
I know you've witnessed it. The men or women who get rejected from the person they're crushing on and all of a sudden lash back at them, directly or indirectly. It stems from nothing but bitterness. Now they "never liked them anyway" or were only with them for a certain reason, blah blah, yadda yadda. We hear you talking boo, but we just don't believe you.

3. Heartburn
As a result of their fronting ways, they try to mask when someone makes them really happy to a particular audience. They can't stay true to their heart in the public and always make it seem as if that person or thing brings them such agony. Usually it's because they are afraid that it will portray them in a certain light. Either way, the jigs up. The only eyes you're pulling the wool over are your own.

4. Excessive Lying
Victims of Fronter's Syndrome don't only react in regards to relationships or interests, you can catch them fibbing about things they have such as material possessions, or stories about experiences that they have had.

5. Sedated
Jay-Z said it best, "Everytime ya name was brought up I would act all nonchalant in front of an au-di-ence. Like you was just another shorty I put the naughty on, but uh truth be told you threw me for a loop it's Hov." Fronters tend to act like they're under sedation when they hear your name and pretend to block it out. All of a sudden, they're extra relaxed about something or someone and make their value seem less.

The key factor that all Fronters share is denial. They're all denying something whether it be little or big. A lot of us are guilty of being a Fronter, but a cure has been identified. It's called the Truth and it will set you free. Tuning into how you really feel only helps shape your reality.

Funnies: Call Me Mr. Facebook, I Could Make Ya Grades Drop

Frat Juice

I had some frat juice over the weekend that inspired several thoughts. At first I stared down into the purple concoction that was given to me in a yellow cup. All I could really tell about it was what was I could see at face value. Eh, wasn't too sure I was gonna like it. After all, I hate grape flavored things. Once I tasted it though, it was great. Three cups great. I demanded to know what was in it but it was a secret. Something like Krabby Patty ingredients, and that only made me like it more. It's funny how the mystery of things lead us to appreciate them. If I found out exactly what was in it, I would feel empowered but would I like it as much?

My friend has a new guy who's interested in her but he constantly texts her every second. He leaves no mystery and therefore she has him all figured out at such an early stage. He's basically set himself up for failure. Leaving people wanting more is always a good quality to have. That's how the media grabs consumer attention and how we can grab the attention of others. Even in relationships, it's not good to spill every single thing that you share as a couple with other people. Having something to share with one another that no one else knows about, always puts that extra spice in your connection.

With life, we never know the full layout. Some people are so willing to throw themselves into opportunities that they aren't sure the outcome of, because they're so filled with mystery. Those people are called Risk-takers and they are often the ones getting the most out of life. Embracing the unknown instead of questioning it.

The purple stuff made me examine my relationships, how I affect people and how I embrace life. Frat Juice...It's like the It Girl or Boy, but no one knows exactly what "it" is. It's your personal characteristics that make you, you. It's what makes you interesting. It's the secrets that hold a friendship together. It's what separates friends from associates. It's what makes your life interesting and others so/so. Frat Juice.

FOTO OP: Just Art Exhibition

An invitation I created for an event.

Forever Gay or Freshly Gay?

It seems like being gay is the latest trend. It's like the new black. And this is in no way meant to be a gay bashing post. It's simply a reflection of thought. Girls are holding other girls' hands and men are eyeing other males more often than usual. Everywhere I turn this person or that person is revealing that they're gay. And if they're not gay, someone else is spilling the beans that they're dipping in the same gender pool. The question is... forever gay or freshly gay?

I used to think and still believe that if you were gay, it was something that was just in you from birth but recently I've begun to wonder if this is just the Age of Curiosity for some. Mostly girls. For guys, I just feel like there's no turning back. If they liked boys, then they always did (though that may not be true). Girls tend to have that flicker of wildness within them though. I question if for some girls it's all pyschological and because of their bad experiences with males that they decide to become gay, try it and end up just sticking with it.

People even become skeptical more easily, nowadays. I've had instances where I'm with a friend who is gay, and just because we hang out others have wondered about me. Gay people can have straight friends. Yes, that's allowed. Or I've had friends tell me that others have randomly thought they were gay and they weren't.

Times are changing though. It's become easier to be expressive about your sexuality. Is it that people were suppressing their homosexuality before and now feel more comfortable expressing themselves? What about those still in hiding? Just something that rattled the brain.

Fone Diaries

Men Lie. Women Lie. Phones don't.

It might be one of the most disputed arguments between couples but the fact remains: A person's phone is like their diary. It's where you hold some of your most intimate, private, and personal conversations. That's why people have passwords for their phones. Hmm... so is delving into someone's phone, cracking their password an invasion of privacy? What if you get permission? Are you now allowed to get mad if you see something you don't like? All questions that surface as a result of phone arguments.

Privacy Shmivacy. I think a female needs to check her boyfriend's phone every now and then. I see too many girls out there that have no clue what there significant others are doing because they have never seen their phone and it goes both ways, male or female. I'm not promoting going behind someone's back, because that definitely can hurt your relationship. The phone issue in itself can cause disruption because it brings up the issue of trust. The more you desire to check your partner's phone is truly a sign of trust issues. It's better to build trust and honesty, rather than lose a relationship over it. Hate it or love it, phones have the ability to reveal what people are afraid to say or show actions that people are people are afraid to fess up to. To cross the border into the unknown or not to?... that is the question.

Familiar with Jack Shit?

I got this funny BBM and I decided to share it.

For some time many of us have wondered who is Jack Shit? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Shit?" Well, thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who married O Shit. In turn Jack Shit married Noe Shit. The couple had six children: Holie Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, and the twins Deep Shit and Dip Shit. Deep Shit married Dumb Shit, a high school dropout. After 15 years, Jack and Noe Shit got divorced and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe Shit Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Shit married Lota Shit and had a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Shit. Fulla Shit and Giva Shit married the Happens brothers in a double wedding. The newspaper invited everyone to the Shit-Happens wedding. Bull Shit traveled the world and returned home with an Italian bride, Pisa Shit. So from now on, no one can tell you that you don't know Jack Shit.